The Zombie Lost Generation: Can They Be Educated?

28 Days Later

They mill and throng, blocking the trails for hikers and bicyclists.  When a friend asked them to social-distance, they came CLOSER.  It’s kind of like dealing with the zombies in 28 Days LaterFinally, someone put up a sign:  KEEP YOUR SOCIAL DISTANCE.  

Their handlers can’t handle them.  Please, please send them back to school in the fall.   They are so used to being over-scheduled,  playing sports (what a waste of time) when they’re not in school, that they have turned into zombie-bullies during their new leisure hours.

Provide the teachers with face shields, gloves, whatever it takes. I do pity them: it’s a tough job at the best of times, departments are being cut, and one teacher was fired last year for teaching English grammar in an English class. By all means, keep the students as ignorant as possible!  But at least keep them busy.

There are safety worries:  the Republicans in Washington object to the CDC guidelines for reopening the schools. (What?  Wear masks? An outrage!  Clean surfaces as often as possible?  Another outrage!) SAFETY LAST! is the new motto of my country.  And it is not the best idea to send students into a pestilence pot.   They’ll spread the virus.  

If the schools don’t have an adequate safety plan, my advice is:  hire a GED tutor to work with small groups.  That way, their diplomas will mean something.

Meanwhile, the universities–and let’s face it, that’s where the real education takes place–are still making plans.  Some universities will allow 40% of the students to live on campus,  but all will take their classes online.

It’s not the ideal situation, and I’m sorry for the students.  But this is what they can have until a vaccine is found.  

 Thank God I was infertile!  Overpopulation, pandemics, climate change…a tough world.  

And now, after lecturing, I will give you the peace sign.  You know what to do:  stay home, practice social distancing, wear a mask, and wash your hands.

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