The Makeover: Cancel That Appointment!

“Oh, no.  No, no, no, no!” I stared at the mirror.  I wasn’t crying – yet.  But if there’s one thing I knew, it was that I had to cancel my doctor’s appointment.  If she saw me looking like this, God knows what medication she would prescribe.  I could only hope for tranquilizers.

You know, looks have never mattered to me. The trick to aging gracefully is not to look in the mirror.  I love my bathroom mirror – the light is very mellow in there – and though I look a bit older, the wrinkles seem to stay in the shadows.  

And then I made a mistake.  I looked in a full-length mirror in a bright light.  I screamed, “THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT!”

I changed my clothes several times, but it didn’t do anything for me. Would I look more acceptable in a black dress that has been on the floor of my closet since 2000?  How about black pants and a simple blouse – my funeral wear? No, it looked too funereal.  I settled on jeans and a t-shirt – a lifelong favorite.

There was nothing to do about my face.  I have a magic dermatological cream, which sort of fills in the lines, but turns my face red.  It depends on my level of desperation whether I use it or not.  It’s a night-time thing:  I don’t think an hour would do anything.

 How about makeup?  I never wear makeup.   The  one time I submitted to a makeover, the cosmetician and i were equally horrified.

“Just wear eyeliner,” she said brightly.

“Can’t be done.  It hurts my eyes,” And it gives me conjunctivitis!

Then there’s my hair.  Would dyeing it make me look younger?  Could I possibly dye my hair between now and my doctor’s appointment?  It seemed unlikely.

And then I realized that the frazzled doctor wouldn’t notice:   I was just another aging woman!  All she cared about was the numbers!

And so I didn’t cancel the appointment.  I would have preferred staying home and crying over an old movie with Olivia de Haviland, but we don’t always get what we want. I did get some pills. Allergy pills!

Next time I go to the doctor, I will have changed my appearance completely.  I plan to change into a wistful, aging sylvan Ovidian dryad with green hair and green clothing.

 The great thing about aging is that you’re invisible!  Still, I like the idea of being an aging sylvan dryad.  Now that would be a true makeover.

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