The movers sweated as they lugged boxes of books up three flights of stairs to our new apartment.

. (Photo by Debrocke/ClassicStock/Getty Images)
The sweaty movers were good-natured, and joked around: “Which of you is the professor?” (Neither: we are amateur eggheads.) But there was one grumpy exception: a man in a Frank Zappa t-shirt growled as he wiped the sweat off his forehead with one of my dish towels, which he had pilfered from the box labeled TOWELS. “It’s like moving boxes of bricks. Are these yours, lady?”
I looked around wildly. Should I deny it? But no. I was not going to prevaricate, though book martyrdom loomed.
“Yes.” I sounded wobbly, not dignified,. Then I picked up a box and headed upstairs with it.
A nice man intervened and gently took the box from me. “If I may… Karl’s just a whiner, aren’t you, Karl?”
Indeed, Karl admitted he was a whiner.
But then they had to lug up actual boxes of bricks, for brick-and-board bookshelves, and Karl almost lost it.
You see, Karl was not a bookish person. He was not a bricks-and-boards person, either. He didn’t understand the life-style. Sure, we had lots of books, but we not only read them, we needed to have them. Because one day we would want to read Charlotte M. Yonge’s The Clever Woman of the Family, and we wouldn’t want to go through Interlibrary loan, which is ghastly, because the paper in the books is often yellow and the pages are uncut. And it could take years to find the Charlotte M. Yonge at a used bookstore.
Fortunately, Karl didn’t have the power to evict me. But in New York, an avid reader was recently evicted from his apartment for having, oh, say, 100,000 books, or maybe 200,000. The landlord said he feared the heavy books might crash through the floor. Is that even possible? Well, that is a lot of books.
During my college days, a Dickensian graduate student, whom I shall call “the lodger,” because that’s what I called him, lived in a book-filled studio apartment below our apartment. It was arranged like the stacks at the public library. There were narrow aisles between thousand of books crammed into metal bookcases of the kind the library uses. I can only suppose he found a special public library furniture store.
At a book sale at his apartment, I learned that our landlord had refused to rent our apartment to him because he was convinced the bookcases would fall through the floor and damage the house.
I was very emmpathetic, but in the back of my mind, I thought, Someday I’ll have thousands of books, too! Well, perhaps we have 1,000, 1,200 tops. Not in the lodger’s range!
The odd thing is that even fanatical readers disapprove of having “too many books.” Oh, they might have a cute t-shirt, saying Too Many Books, Too Little Time, but they don’t mean it. They would rather pay $4,000 for soccer tickets, or $5,000 for rock concerts, than buy books they can “get at the public library.” The thing is, you can’t get them at the public library. The library discards many newish books, and the backlist is even more ephemeral.
We buy books instead of soccer tickets, or that trip to Hawaii we’ve never wanted to take.
And the important thing is: We refuse to be book martyrs!

















