
It started at the grand opening of a club.
I was given two tickets, and what else was I doing on a Friday night? I begged Captain Nemo to come with me, but the only club he liked was a dingy warehouse where we had once heard 10,000 Maniacs and Talk Talk for free.
Anyway, what he really liked, and what I liked, too, was lolling on the couches in our living room (we had two) and reading Proust. It was a sweet scene: there is no doubt about it. We had bought a set of of Proust (Modern Library) for $5. I’m still on Volume VI…
But my charming friend Rosie, who had never been to a club, was willing to go. We dressed up, put on costume jewelry, and tried to tame our hair, which was difficult when the humidlty was 70%.
Anyway, the club was very crowded. There must have been at least 200 people. Once we got inside, we milled and thronged, hovered over the buffet, and ate standing up because there weren’t enough chairs.
And then two strange men approached us. Rosie and I had not expected this!
Dorothy Parker wrote:
Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.
I guess these guys never heard that one.
Anyway, the men chatted, and we smiled, but we hardly talked at all. AND THEN THEY ASKED US TO GO OUT ON THEIR BOAT.
“Um, er. Shall we go to the restroom first?” I said, smiling
And so we retired, giggling, to the restroom. According to Rosie, I looked “vampish.” I looked at myself in the mirror with a sinking sensation. If I hadn’t let the clerk at a department store pick out my party dress, this would not have happened. But my friend Emma was truly beautiful, and I was a sweet bookish woman in disguise, so I can only say they had good taste.
And then we sort of lost them in the crowd. I know, I know: we should have turned them down and told them we were married. But I sort of froze. Maybe you know what I mean.
“So this is what it’s like to be single,” Rosie said. “Joe and I met at a fraternity dance.”
“The captain and I met in a Latin class.”
“Kat, you’re such a nerd!”
“Yes,” I said, satisfied.
Although I wish I had been courteous, and tactfully turned down the men’s invitations, I comfort myself with the knowledge that there were hundreds of women there who would want to go out on their boat!









