Some years back, I interviewed Cynthia Heimel, a humor columnist for The Village Voice.   She was on book tour and seemed a bit disoriented. Our town was frankly dowdy and may have shocked this hip New Yorker.

I loved her books. My favorite of her quips: “When in doubt, act like Myrna Loy.”

I couldn’t be Myrna Loy, though.  Snappy comebacks:  none.  Fashion:  random.  That day I wore a thrift shop dress, green tights, and black ankle boots.  (I decided the tights were a mistake and took them off before the interview.)  Cynthia was black-clad, with long, high hair, much teased and sprayed. Her publicist had mentioned her obsession with her hair and suggested that I compliment her on it.

Cynthia and I looked at each other tiredly.

She’d been up since dawn, giving radio interviews to deejays. I’d been up since dawn, working at my day job.

It was really too late in the day for an interview, but I gallantly fired out questions and scribbled notes.  I was exhausted. I needed a nap and a run.

“Are you having an anxiety attack?” she asked.

Yes but I wouldn’t admit it. And she seemed anxious, too. If one of us had been up and the other down, it would have been fine. When there is a simultaneous freakout, even if it’s from exhaustion, it’s more awkward.

Was it the right time to admire her hair? “I love your hair,” I said bravely.

“Really?” She smiled.

And then we were done.

The interview done, she frailly beckoned to a handsome man, who was sitting at another table and watching over her. I assumed he was her boyfriend, but he might have been her PR escort.

So we’re all feminists, but thank God for men.

As for Myrna Loy:  The script of the movie version of The Thin Man is right out of Dashiell Hammett’s novel.  Myrna Loy played Nora, the witty wife of Nick Charles (William Powell), who is a witty detective.  Nick has the best lines, but Nora has the style. In the following dialogue, Nick wants to go out to dinner, though he has been shot, and Nora is exasperated, as all women would be.

“You’re showing off,” she said. “You want to let people see you’re a hero who can’t be stopped by bullets.”

“Don’t be nasty.”

“I will be nasty. I’m not going to have you –“

One of our greatest humor writers, Heimel died in 2018.  Her books are radical, relevant, and very funny.

Here’s a list of Cynthia’s books.

• Sex Tips For Girls
• But Enough About You: Avoiding Fabulousness
• If You Can’t Live without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?!
• Get Your Tongue out of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Good-Bye!
• If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
• When the Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’ll Be Me!
• Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It’s Personal

And here’s a very funny video of Cynthia talking about her dogs: