“Yeah, yeah, we have everything here.  It’s all about location,” I say cheerily. 

Despite my boosterish declaration, I am dismayed by a certain lack of decorum.

Only a few years ago, you could take walks and admire the gardens and houses, or perhaps criticize them, but you did not wince at the neighbors’ aggressive infliction of their life-style on you. This year political signs are “trending.” I get it, people are excited, but I am not concerned about the neighbors’  politics: the ideal neighbor is one who does not get up at dawn to rev his motorcycle and zoom around and around the block, or listen to ABBA at full blast while puttering around the yard – at 6 a.m. on Sunday!

In general I don’t want to “read” your lawn. I also object to the narcissists who post signs congratulating their offspring on being on the soccer team/football team/whatever. Is the lawn their Facebook page? 

And now for the worst manifestation of bad taste: the fantastically ugly Halloween decorations.  Why is Halloween a season now instead of a holiday? The towering skeletons are a nightmare. I scuttle across the street to avoid 10-foot-tall skeletons brandishing scythes.  Perhaps I should take a rosary and fling holy water at these fiendish incarnations. One evening on a walk with my husband, I jumped when we passed an innovation in the skeletal department:  a talking skeleton!

Everything changes – but could we have more decorum and better taste? 

Petronius was Nero’s Arbiter Elegantiae (Arbiter of Taste).  We need that person in our neighborhood!