The alternative newspaper had two things going for it: (1) it was free, and (2) it had one excellent columnist.  The very sound of the word “alternative” raised my expectations, though I clearly confused it with “underground” newspapers.  Would it be like The Village Voice, with music reviews by Nat Hentoff and humor columns by Cynthia Heimel?

“What it means,” said my friend, the editor of a local magazine, “is that I can cancel my subscription to Marcus’ newsletter and read him for free.”

I had never heard of Marcus, a columnist who lived off his newsletter.  It’s no wonder I never heard of him, since local politics was his thing, and politics bored me.  To me, his stuff read like typical op/ed pieces, but I never read those, either, so I’m no judge.  In retrospect, he was a daring radical who deconstructed the dark powers of the city

Every columnist has his or her fans, but I skipped all “news” columns, such as they were, and stuck to the lighter stuff. My motto is:  Give me fluff!  Give me art! (There’s nothing funnier than local art: sorry, but it’s true!)  Give me movies (comedies, please, and remakes of Jane Austen)!  Give me literary fiction!  It took me all of three minutes to read the the alternative paper.

I especially enjoyed the art column. The whimsical art critic created a gossip column/travel writing gig.  He/she would travel with friends to an art show in a big city, but get distracted by shopping. Once, they got gigs as paparazzi. Well, obviously he exaggerated or made some of it up! But it was great fun to read.

The paper folded, as these things do. Another free paper replaced it. But I still miss The Village Voice. That was the template for underground excellence.