Ageing both matters and does not matter. When a fifty-something friend injured himself on a bike ride, he said, “I’m getting old.”

“You’re in your prime.”  (He healed after a day.)  But, yes, the numbers matter in our society, and “You’re as young as you feel” is one of those stupid sayings that demonize aging.  That’s why comedian Jack Benny was “forever 39.”

Some celebrate ageing (there are croning ceremonies), some agonize over it. And when does old age begin?  No one seems to know. At 30, you think you’re maturing too fast. Forty comes and goes without trauma.  Fifty has a different ring.  Sixty will never happen. 

I cannot guess how old people are, unless I went to school with them. And it is vaguely reassuring to realize that they are the same age as you.  YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON TURNING A NUMBER YOU WILL NEVER REVEAL. 

The assumption is that older is worse, not better, but it can be the opposite.  It is fascinating to have a long perspective, to have lived through history that has ended in this present. “We are not responsible for the eighties,” Cynthia Heimel wrote. 

Is someone responsible for the rest of it?  Can we talk to them, please?

Because either our age or our history is out of control.