The Pre-Loneliness of Holiday Chat

I was looking for reading socks, which are essentially slippers, at B&N when a former employee approached and asked, “May I help you?”  

We both giggled.  I am startled to say that, after a certain age, I have become a “character.”  I famously have been known to mistake bookstore customers for bookstore employees.  “Could you help me find such-and-such a book?” They are always delighted to assist me.

This cracks up the former employee. “Are you trying to put people out of work?”

“Oh, well, I couldn’t find anyone on the floor,” I say vaguely. 

The Christmas cards are on the display tables, but I’m not thinking about the holidays.  And then… “What are you doing for the holidays?” he asked.

I blanched.  I panicked.  Oh no!  The holidays? Already?  “Oh, we’re having a turkey,” I said.  That, I find, covers Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Thanksgiving is about food, and Christmas is also about food.  Actually, Christmas is also about books:  we go to the store and each pick out a book to read on the holiday.

Most people travel, if only to Nebraska or some adjoining state.  Not us.  We stay home.  And I found myself saying inappropriately, “Well, we don’t travel because everybody’s dead.”  Then I gripped his arm.  “Sorry, I should not have said that.” 

And so I told him about the poinsettia greenhouse. That is my most cherished Thanksgiving memory.  After our turkey dinner, the hostess drove us to a vast greenhouse on the outskirts of town. (She knew the proprietor.) It was filled with what looked to me like acres of pink, red, and white poinsettias.  It was more beautiful than some historic gardens I have visited.

As for Christmas, well… That’s still far away.  But I may try to find Zoom book groups to take my mind off that perfectionist holiday where you must prove yourself by making your own wreath (I flunked the adult ed class), assembling a ginger bread house, trimming the tree, and learning the lyrics to the Christmas carols you used to know.

2 thoughts on “The Pre-Loneliness of Holiday Chat

  1. Ellen Moody

    Remember all the talk about holiday intense socializing, exquisite food, and joy is not on oath. Read Bobbie Ann Mason’s “Dawing Names.” We are doing nothing for Turkey day. I admit for a few years now Izzy and I are invited to dinner with Laura and Rob. He cooks. As you know (I assume) I’ve had 2 major and 3 minor strokes in the last 2 years. I can barely walk or type well any more. Laura and I have a much better relationship as a result of all that has happened in these 2 years. So Christmas dinner together is usually a decent honest couple of hours.

    1. Kat Post author

      I like Thanksgiving – no pressure there. As for Christmas, it IS like Thanksgiving, but the constant barrage of Black Friday sales, which I believe may have started already, and the general commercialism drive me mad. During Saturnalia, Pliny stayed in the back room in his country villa so he wouldn’t be disturbed by the jolly partiers. Where’s my country villa?

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