The Booker Prize longlist was announced today, and I’m reserving books at the public library. By late August I’ll have circles under my eyes, and metaphorically throw a few of the books at the wall, i.e., return them to the library.

And then the shortlist will be announced.

I’m a fan of the Booker.  I’ve been looking forward to the longlist for weeks.  I’d predicted that I would have read one, two  max.  And, yes, I have read one:  Elizabeth Strout’s brilliant, dark, lyrical, political novel, The Things We Do Not Say. 

Last year the judges were eclectic: the charming Sarah Jessica Parker was one of the judges, and, the equally charming former Booker Prize winner Roddy Doyle was the chair. Parker, an actress and publisher, described tearing the covers off the Booker books so she could read in public without anyone glimpsing the titles.

And Doyle was flamboyant about the many bad books being published. He delivered an outrageous, near-stand-up-comic speech at Southbank Centre, ranting about how most of the Booker submissions were terrible.

That was dramatic: it probably can’t happen twice.

But I wonder if the Booker should add more pzazz and quirks.

Here are two suggestions, which will doubtless be taken “under advisement.”

First, I would find an academic hipster who hasn’t read a new book since the mid-90s. The ’60s is her era. In fact, she has read nothing but Ken Kesey, Lynne Reid Banks, John Barth, Robert Coover, Doris Lessing, Jack Kerouac, and Charles Bukowski since she finished her dissertation. . And so she would crossly and quickly be able to winnow down the 13 new books to six, and then  go out and chat on the BBC or at Daunt Books about her outrageous views. If she starts quoting William Burroughs, hustle her offstage. They REALLY don’t want to hear her on Naked Lunch.

Here’s my other idea: recruit a pop star (why not Taylor Swift?) or rock star (Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders?) to perform a Booker-themed song.  Potential song titles:  Meta-Booker, Sexy Booker, Crazy Booker, Industrial Booker, Grateful Booker, etc. Reward them with books!

Oh, and it wouldn’t hurt to invite avid reader Jenna of Jenna Reads, the hostess of the Today show book club.  Her book club choices range from pop literary to literary, and are usually excellent.

Of course the Booker PR people may have more to do than organize celeb PR!